Wednesday, January 23, 2013

What you can get for free, if you’re willing

With the holidays in the past, it seems that the darkest, coldest days of the year are upon us.  But any student will tell you that with the advent of the second semester of school, it is just a quick downhill slide towards summer.

For high school students, especially those who are just about to graduate, there might be a level of anxiety that comes along with this rapid approach to the end of school.  What will you do after school?  Some of you, undoubtedly, will be looking for work to fill those long summer days.

When I was in high school, my peers and I started to think about our resumes, whether for college applications or an internship, or what we referred to as that mythical “real job.”  The first things generally to go on one of these resumes were babysitting jobs, or perhaps lifeguarding at the local pool.  Because I was relying heavily on both my athletic and academic abilities to help me to get into the college of my choice, I brushed off the importance of those resume-filling jobs for another day.  

Then one year just after the holidays, I realized it would be to my benefit to get a good job over the summer break, one that could go on my official resume, something that a future boss might be impressed at even after I finished school.  But who would be willing to hire me?  I was still in school, and my job experience was limited to the babysitting and lifeguarding category.  In other words, nothing having to do with my chosen career path.

It was then that I stumbled across an organization called the Student Conservation Association.  A non-profit group, the SCA is charged with giving young people hands-on experience working in outdoor stewardship or conservation-related jobs.  A strictly volunteer organization, they place both high school and college age students in jobs that match with their interests or career paths.  

For the first time, I was offered an opportunity for a real career boost, to really get something worthwhile to put on my resume.  Even then, I knew this opportunity was available because I was willing to do this work for free.  In fact, just being accepted into the program was a life lesson: never underestimate the chances people are willing to give you if you are prepared to do something for free.  

From my dorm room in Massachusetts, the prospect of spending a summer in the mountains of Idaho, based in the exotic-sounding town of Coeur d’Alene sounded like a dream come true.  The work I would do was free, but my compensation included a free place to live and a $50 a week stipend for food.  The free room turned out to be an RV I shared with another volunteer.  Cramped quarters and a very minimal food budget, but we were only blocks away from the beautiful Lake Coeur d’Alene, and as a student, my food expectations were fairly low.  

The summer I spent there turned out to be more than just a line on my resume.  It was a life experience that I would never change and gave me valuable insight into the career path I had chosen at that time.  I spent most every day that summer deep in the woods doing menial work, but the exposure to the forestry career I had chosen at that time was eye opening and very educational.  

If conservation programs aren’t your interest, there are innumerable other ways to get your foot in the door if you are willing to either volunteer or get paid very low wages.  In other countries, taking a gap year between high school and college is the norm, and young people take the opportunity to work or volunteer in career areas that interest them.  And although my experience working for the Student Conservation Association limited to just a summer, the experience it gave me was invaluable.  

If nothing else, dreaming about how to creatively spend long summer days in the depths of winter is a nice way to pass the time.

Previously published in "The Star," Grand Coulee, Washington. January 23, 2013

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Life lessons go both ways


Someone once told me that the first five years of a child’s life is remarkable in its ability for rapid change.  Every few months brings about a new life stage that change how a child sees their world and how they interact in it.  As my daughter moves through these stages, I have had to change with her.  And change, as always, is challenging.

My daughter is now almost four, and for some time we have been moving out of the moment-by-moment living that is the life of a toddler.  At that stage, I found parenting her to be very clear.  Her life unfolded right now, so depending on the needs of that moment, I gave her food, shelter, nourishment, and as much unconditional love as I could squeeze into our day.  Teachable moments were also quite clear: sharing is caring, say please and thank you, kindness is king.

But as we have moved out of the reactionary toddler stage, I have seen her transitioning into a much more complex world where there is genuine purpose to her thoughts and actions.  It has become my role to explain people’s motives and reasons behind disagreements.  Not surprisingly, I often find myself at a total loss.  

Luckily, I’m not alone in trying to explain this complex world of other people’s thoughts.  It turns out reading a story can lend insight that a simple explanation from a parent does not.  Research has shown that the more inclusive thoughts and feelings are in the characters of stories we read, the more my daughter will understand the emotions in others.  

I’ve always been heartened by the pure kindness that I witness in children.  In fact, recent research on babycenter.org shows that “kids come into the world programmed to be helpful and cooperative.”  From what I’ve witnessed as a parent, it seems that a kind intent often gets lost in translation.  Perhaps it is simply our job to help to relay the message and teach them how to express their own thoughts and actions clearly.

I’m not implying that children are pre-programmed to be perfect and we as parents are screwing them up.  Sharing, especially of a prized possession like a toy, is not something any kid will willingly do.  Without knowing when, or if, they will get that toy back, letting a friend play with it seems to a kid like they are giving it up forever.  However, new research out of the University of British Columbia shows that when toddlers share a treat, such as crackers or candy, they actually experience an emotional high and there is a boost of genuine happiness. Maybe it is our job as parents to remember to ask for things that are within the realm of understanding.  Sharing goldfish is something they understand, whereas sharing a doll is terrifying.

My nearly-four-year-old is just on the brink of understanding the vast materialistic world that is just beyond her fingertips.  Sharing toys has become easier as she has gained a deeper understanding of time and patterns.  Never has a child come over for a play date and taken her favorite doll home with them, and by now she is picking up on those patterns.  But as she has gotten older we have moved out of only being interested in what is directly in front of her eyes.  

But, thankfully, there is enough of the toddler still in her to be delighted by what is directly in front of her.  And here is a trait from children that even the most materialistic among us can learn from.  Research in the Journal of Positive Psychology has firmly proven the old adage, “wanting what you have is more important to health and well being than getting what you want.”

It seems, as I’ve suspected from the moment my daughter first batted her baby blues at me, she is teaching me as much as I teach her.
Previously published in "The Star," Grand Coulee, Washington. January 9, 2013