Real resolutions await

It was John Lennon who said “And so this is Christmas, and what have we done.  Another year over, and a new one just begun.”  This week marks that week where we flip over, shaking off last year’s excesses and unwrapping those new blank calendars. 

The most common thing to do around New Year’s—besides one last night of indulgence—is to make a resolution.  Sometimes resolutions are made lightly; lose 10 pounds! Others are made with all seriousness.  Either way, many times in this week leading up to New Year’s when I evaluate the resolution I made the previous year, I can hardly remember it, let alone declare it conquered. 

I find Lennon’s sentiments to define how I usually feel at this time of year.  Another year has passed.  How have I spent it?  What did I do?  For me it’s a natural time to look inward and ask myself some probing questions about my life, my health, my state of mind, my ambitions or whatever it is that feels like it could be better in my life. 

I’ve been to New Year’s Day parties where resolutions are talked about as if we’re discussing what to have for dinner that night.  Sometimes that’s fun.  Sometimes it’s nice to breezily say that I plan on joining a gym, or writing the next great American novel.  But New Year’s Resolutions don’t have to be empty promises.  Last year I made a resolution and not only did I keep it, but as I pursued it the goal evolved into three separate avenues that very quietly and slowly made me more fulfilled at the end of every day.  One affected my health, one affected my creativity and one challenged me to learn a new skill.  I had no idea that making that one off-hand resolution would evolve over the course of the year into something that would add richness and pride to my life. 

Now that I’ve experienced the thrill of achieving one of those lofty New Year’s Day promises, I find that I am eagerly looking forward to this years’ and wondering where it might take me over the course of the year.  I also feel like I owe it to myself to make another reachable resolution that I might actually keep and not one that I know to be vaguely vacant of any true motivation.

I recently came across an article entitled “12 Things Happy People Do Differently” on the website marcandangel.com.  I was already swirling ideas around for this column about the merits of New Year’s Resolutions and I was pleased to see that number 10 on their list was “Commit to your goals.”  If that’s not a reason to stick to a resolution, then I don’t know what is.  Science has proven that people who make a resolution, or goal, and stick to it are happier people!  On the flip side I believe they are telling us that if we put something down in our minds as a goal and don’t stick to it, we will feel defeated with ourselves.  The trick there is to fully believe that you can still accomplish those resolutions, no matter the challenges.  The websites corresponding point is number two, “cultivate optimism;” people who see challenges positively will find an opportunity in every bump in the road.

The official “holiday season” ends on New Year’s Day, but I find myself feeling ready for that much anticipated time of year to be over on the day after Christmas.  We’ve all indulged.  Gifts have been exchanged, family has spent time together and the tree is starting to shed its needles all over the living room floor.  As I take down my Christmas decorations and put my house back into a more natural state of being, I feel like I too am tidying myself up from a holiday season of indulgence.  The tree gets dragged out the door, needles falling behind and like it, so does last year’s problems and challenges.  A whole new year awaits; new resolutions to make and goals to achieve.

Previously published in "The Star," Grand Coulee, Washington. December 28, 2011

A Partridge in a Pear Tree? Does it come with free shipping?

Just before Thanksgiving I looked in my post office box and saw it overflowing.  I sighed in resignation; this was a day I had been expecting.  The catalogs had begun to arrive. 

It was like this for weeks.  As they started to pile up around my house, I found myself glancing at them out of the corner of my eye.  In years past I’ve browsed through some of them, but mostly they’ve gone straight from the mailbox to the trashcan.  But this year, in the flurry of getting ready for guests to arrive for Thanksgiving, before I chucked them in the bin I made a concerted effort to look through them.

The more I looked I realized that maybe this year catalog shopping was the way to go.  After all, I can’t just run out to the nearest mall or big box store to get a last minute present.  Many of my presents are going to relatives across the country, and you can’t beat those free shipping deals.  The more I thought about it, the more determined I was that this year I would not just browse through the mound of catalogs for ideas, but for actual purchases.

Thanksgiving passed; Black Friday passed and Cyber Monday arrived.  This is usually a day I ignore, but because of my pre-Thanksgiving organization I pounced.  In fact, I bought most of my Christmas presents that day or in the days that followed.  It appears as if I wasn’t alone either.  Americans everywhere descended upon their computers as Cyber Monday morphed into “Cyber Week.”  According to the digital analytics firm comScore, in the week following Thanksgiving Americans spent $6 billion Christmas shopping on-line (no that’s not a typo, it says billion). 

This is a staggering amount of money, but it seems lavishing your loved ones at Christmas is rooted in history.  Perhaps it can be traced to the Christmas song “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”  This year, if you were to replicate the song you would spend $101,119.84 on your true love.  Who can live up to such expectations?  Does love demand that we buy such rare gifts as a partridge in a pear tree or send your sweetheart 12 lords-a-leaping?  What happened to a simple fruitcake or tin of homemade fudge?  Are we expecting too much out of our Christmas giving?

My shopping, or shall I say buying, is just about completed and I pat myself on the back for being so organized.  But to be completely honest, I feel a slight sense of loss.  I’ve always had an abundance of Christmas spirit, and this is a time of year I look forward to with great anticipation.  I like the baking and the decorating, the cheesy music and the twinkling lights.  I like to stroll through my favorite local shops thinking of my favorite people.  In my flurry of online shopping this year, instead of feeling wrapped in the Christmas spirit, I feel instead as if I were simply checking people off a list.  Is searching for the best deal taking away from the Christmas spirit, or is it that bottom dollar deal that makes it?  Are the presents that we open on Christmas morning the best part about the season, or is it everything that leads up to that moment? 

There is a song that says “we are all children on Christmas Day.”  I’ve always felt this to be true.  There is a special magic that materializes around Christmas that smacks of the unexplained we once believed in as children.  Now that I’m buying and preparing for my own child, I understand that the gifts she opens on Christmas morning will enhance the magic of the season for her.  But I also understand that my thrill for the twinkling lights on our tree, the special once-a-year treats we’re making together, the frenzy of looking for the perfect gift in a crowded mall, and the anticipation of a visit from Santa are just as magical as the latest deal I found online.  And if “we’re all children on Christmas Day,” then I’m not expecting a partridge in a pear tree, but just a small sparkle of that old magic.

Previously published in "The Star," Grand Coulee, Washington. December 14, 2011