Each night, families across America sit down to their own version of the family dinner. I have no doubt that the character of those dinners have shifted as families have expanded, grown up, and moved out. At our house, the dinner table has changed drastically in the past two years going from spoon-feeding a baby to a chattering, messy toddler.
When my daughter was about six-months old I, like mothers all over America, busily prepared to start solids. I saw this moment as one of the firsts in my life as a parent to extend some measure of shaping of her future life. I was solely in charge of what she would put in her mouth. Now was the time to present her with the right choices. My strategy included fresh fruits and vegetables, a variety of whole grains, low-fat proteins and high-fat cheeses and yogurts. I had grand plans for her culinary life. Of course, I was not to exclude some fun. That’s what grandparents are for, to slip her the occasional lollipop or cheese doodle, so I didn’t have to and it would be a special treat.
With the night of the first meal upon us, the organic, all-natural rice cereal was carefully prepared and the camera was at the ready. At the end of the experience, we had about 40 new pictures to add to the first-year baby book, two, or possibly three bites of mushy rice cereal in her belly, and a heck of a mess to clean up. I was so proud. We were off on the right foot.
Of course, nothing goes as planned. I quickly learned that my grand culinary plans could be chucked, along with the blended, frozen cubes of homemade baby food. As soon as finger foods entered our life, it was clear I no longer had sole responsibility for what she ate. She now made her own choices. It was at this stage in the game, when bowls of spaghetti and plates of afternoon snacks arrived that other preferences became clear. Perhaps it is simply the stage of childhood we are in, or maybe it is a personality trait, but she now takes almost an hour to fully finish her meal. Which is not to say she will finish her plate. Toddlers are graced with the ability to stop eating when they are full, not when their plate is clean.
Our family dinner table has shifted enormously over the past two years. We now sit at the table for a long time each night, when before we might sneak in our meal while watching the baseball game on TV. I apparently have little control over what she eats anymore. I provide the alternatives, but she ultimately will choose what goes in her mouth. Mac n’ cheese and chicken fingers are a much larger portion of our overall caloric intake. But, like each new step in the life of parent, I’m trying to take it all in stride. What the next two years will bring in the shape of our family dinner table, I have no idea. But whatever it is, I’m sure it won’t be anything I expected or planned for.
Previously published in "The Star," Grand Coulee, Washington. September 21, 2011
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